Me As A Communicator--Week 4

When doing the surveys this week I tried to be as honest as I could be so that I could learn the areas that I need improvement in.  While I am not surprised by my results there are some things that I have come to realize that need to be changed and that I can be a better communicator if I work toward those changes.  I know that my score of 54 for communication anxiety was on target.  While I do speak in groups on a regular basis and in public, I am not always comfortable but I do my best to try to appear so.  When I had one of my co-workers to complete the communication anxiety for me it revealed a score of 42/Mild and she recognized that sometimes I appear weary but it depends on what is being discussed and how I feel about discussing it.  But when I read the last line telling me about that score it said that communication is something that I don’t worry a great deal about and that couldn’t be far from the truth because people form assumptions about the way that other communicate and I would like for those assumptions to be correct.  When I got my eldest sister to do the Communication Anxiety for me it revealed a score of 51 so she feels that I communicate on a moderate level as well which is the score that I revealed from this test.  It’s good to know that my co-worker views me as a better communicator than I do myself because she knows me on a more professional level where my sister knows me on a personal level and this is the reason why I may have scored a better score with my co-worker than my sister and I know that I tend to “save face” when I am at work.  I do wish to improve my confidence so that the anxiety won’t be noticeable in my professional or personal life.

With the Listening Styles I fell in the Group 1 Category and this is the group that I fell in with my co-worker and my sister.  It is good to have empathy for others but to the point where it is interfering in my judgments isn’t good.  I have always tried to give people a chance to prove themselves that they are the person that I think they are and it almost always comes back to bite me and the has been a big hindrance on my professional career especially in the position that I hold.  I was told when coming in as a Center Director that it is a lonely place in leadership and when hold those types of positions that are sometimes how it needs to be.  Being more people-oriented as the chart suggest has it’s downfalls and can sometimes hinder judgment’s which could hinder professionals and personal relationships depending on situations.  All in all I’m glad that I fail into group one and understand that being in group one could cause a lapse in judgement and I need to ensure that this doesn’t happen.

6165 Communicating Differently

I think that I do communicate differently around different groups.  When I am at work I tend to be more professional and when I am with friends, depending on the environment I think my tone changes and sometimes my vocabulary.  I don't do this intentionally but have noticed the change only after my husband pointed it out to me when he went with me to a function at my job.  Once we got home he said I almost didn't recognize you...you talk so differently around your colleagues than you do around your family(then he added that this was a good thing).  I tend to cut up more around those that I am comfortable and close to and when I am working, I keep a straight face and I work.  I'm not saying that I don't enjoy myself when working but when you tend to let your guard down there will be some individuals who will try to use that against you to discredit you or to make you look bad and this has happened to me in the past and it's something that I never want to happen to me again.

6165 WK 2 blog

The television shat that I watched by wouldn't normally watch was The Bold and the Beautiful.  During this show a young man walked into an older mans office who was sitting behind the desk and they were having a conversation.  The young man was saying something to the older man and the older man looked confused and maybe a little agitated but I thing that the young man was passionate about what he was saying and the older man didn't appear to be agreeing with him.  The scenes switched and there was a young woman in an office who was looking at jewelry and another young woman walked into the office and there appeared to be some tension.  The dark head lady kind of looked reluctant to say something to the blonde but began a conversation anyway.  The blonde seemed to listen but you could tell that it was a conversation that she didn't want to be having.  The expressions changed on both of the women and it seemed they were talking about something that they both were agreeing with but then the expressions changed back and the blonde woman appeared to be somewhat in control of the conversation the the brunette didn't appear to be backing down.  The scene switched again and the older man who was previously mention was at a house speaking to a different younger man and they were eating chicken.  The younger man seemed to be expressing himself as well and the older man was listening to him but expressing himself as well.

When I watched the show again at the beginning of the show Wyatt when to see it dad Bill and he had a favor to ask him and his Bill asked him what it was and he told him that he wanted to move into a house that his brother lived in and he wanted his brother to live in the house that he occupied.  He figured since he was now married he should have the house and his brother should have the bachelor pad since he was the bachelor.  Apparently they both want the same girl and Wyatt was the one who ended up with the girl.  He wanted Bill who was his dad to make it happen for him since he was the one who purchased the properties for both of his sons.    Bill said that he would see what he could do but wasn't making any promises and seemed confused by the whole situation.  When the scene switched  the brunette was Ivy and the blonde was Hope and there was tension between the two and Ivy wanted to discuss it but Hope did not so they began to talk about work and then Hope began fishing for information from Ivy telling her that Liam should have time to get over her before he moves on with someone else, basically implying that she was just a rebound.

When I watched this show in silence and then with volume I couldn't believe the story line.  However I do think that the communication that I imagined was happening was right.  You can tell a lot about what a person is saying to another in my opinion by their body language and facial expressions.  You have to be mindful of these things when communicating with others.  Although the tension in this show was apparent both on mute and with sound you don't want to appear that way when working with children in families.  People are always watching, it doesn't matter if you are having that conversation with that person or not if you have a colleague, employee or parent pulled of to the side you don't want people making assumptions about the conversation you are having due to the facial expressions and body language that you are having while in that conversation.  You have to be mindful that these two types of communications play a big role in how others perceive you as a professional.

Competent Communicators

The person that comes to mind when I think of a competent communicator is my Aunt Wanda.  When she communicates she always gives eye contact and talks in an even tone. Even when she is upset you can never tell because her voice tone stays the same.  She doesn't holler to get her point across and she listens to what others have to say before she begins speaking.  I am just the opposite, when I don't agree it shows in my body posture and facial expressions.  My voice tends to elevate when I get excited/upset and I do a lot of talking with my hands.  I do everything I can to get my point across which isn't always a good thing.  It's hard for me not to do these things because I have been doing them for so long, however I am working on it.

Because of this I believe that I am not always being effective when communicating with others and this is why I have paid close attention to my Aunt because she can speak and make a point without all of the "extra" and that is what I attempt to do.

I am a work in progress and as I've gotten older and wiser I tend to do better and this is one of my personal goals that I want to accomplish because I do feel that sometimes my demeanor can be intimidating to individuals who may not know me and that is never my intention.

Professional Hopes and Goals

Throughout this course I have learned a great deal of information.  While I knew that all of the -ism's existed learning more about them increased my knowledge of diversity.  My hope for working working with children and families from diverse backgrounds is that each person will feel more apart of the group, that they won't be singled out because of their traditions or beliefs and that each professional working with individuals from diverse backgrounds are more aware of microaggressions and are able to identify their own biases. 

One goal that I have for the early childhood field related to diversity, equity and social justice is that people will began to treat individuals more of equals and that they will be able to appreciate the differences that people may have because the diverse world that we live in will continue to be diverse and they should be able to accept it and if they can't accept it they should at least respect it.

Throughout this course I have learned so much from each of you through our blogs and discussions.  This has been a difficult quarter for me because I have been going through a lot of medical issues and thought many times that I should just drop the class cause I didn't feel like I was producing my best work, but I continued to press my way and have made it to week 8.  I appreciate each of you who took the time to read my discussions and blogs and for those who commented on them.  Good Luck in your educational and professional journey.

Latarsha

Welcoming Families From Around the World

The county of origin for the family that I have chosen is Jamaica.  

5 ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards this family:

·         I would first try to learn about Jamaica and their culture by researching the culture as much as possible.

·         Some Jamaicans speak English and some don’t I would try to learn the basics of the Jamaican language such as good morning, good afternoon, to try to incorporate their native language.

·         I would get background information on the parents from previous educational settings to become more familiar with them so that when I come in contact with them I would know who plays the dominant one in the family; basically learning the family dynamics.

·         Because various countries would be represented in the setting I would make sure that Jamaica was also represented and incorporated as much as possible.

·         I would have a family survey that the family could complete to help in getting to know the family better to prevent assumptions.

     Trying to learn about various cultures is what you make it.  If you go into a situation with biases and assumptions it will only make it harder to get to know the family.  I believe that by learning these things it will help in getting to know the child.  I know from experience that these things will work and I also know that these things won’t tell you everything that you need to know about the family this is why it is important to keep an open line of communication with the families, ensuring that they feel welcomed and not judged.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I read a lot of articles on the internet, especially yahoo new and I tend to comment on a lot of the articles that I read.  Last year I commented on an article about a man being found not guilty in a particular case.  I added a comment to the article because it was my way of venting.  I didn't put anything about my race or race at all in the article but received several replies and one that stuck out in my head was the fact that someone said that I was an ignorant black woman and that they could tell that I was black...because of the stupid name that I had.  I was offended and stereotyped because of my name and the person who commented was racist and prejudice in my opinion.

This prejudice diminished equity because of the fact that stereotypes and racial biases were used in commenting on the post that I did concerning the article.  Not one individual commented on what I said about the situation but rather I was bashed because they felt I had a black name.  I was pissed at the comments but realized that those commenting were the one's that were being ignorant.  I gave them names of white women who they could look up to see that this name wasn't just a "black name" and although they gave me no response afterwards I figured I had proven the point of not stereotyping people based on their names and making prejudice comments.

I can't say what or who would have to change in order to turn incidents such as this one around for an opportunity for greater equity.  However, I do feel that it is important that people grow and get over racism, stereotypes and their biases when dealing with people from other ethnicity's or cultures.  It's important that people are educated on what prejudices and racism is because people will say quickly that I'm not racist, I'm not prejudice but won't realize that they have microaggressions that they may not be aware of that will portray them as a racist or someone who is prejudice.